Hello blogland! I can't believe it's been just over 2 months since my last post. To be honest...I didn't think I would ever post again but I just felt like putting my mood on "paper". I just re-read my last post and most of the "pain" comes rushing back but most days I'm holding my head high. I have a few weak days...but I'm human. It happens. Our plan was not to be empty handed...we still pray for some miracles but for now - we move forward. We have moments - typically around my nieces (7 months/21 months) - when Spice and I look at each other and we know what the other is thinking..."sure wish we had one of those little angels of our own". But it wasn't meant to be at this time, if ever, so we smother those girls with our love and find other things to keep us busy.
My current busy project is exercising and changing my eating habits. I come from a family of eaters. We love to cook and try new things and love to eat!. We are a hearty bunch! It all started early January at work...monthly cake day for birthdays. Quite funny really...all scarfing down cake and started talking about resolutions and how most of us wanted to lose weight. So we started a Biggest Loser competition with a $50 entrance fee...11 joined so we are looking at a $500 first prize and $50 second place. How awesome would it be to not only lose weight but then win $500...SHOPPING!!!! So far 7 weeks in...down 13.5 lbs. Pretty excited!! I expected more than that because I'm considered "obese" at 31 BMI but I'm losing weight the right way which is eating smaller meals with healthier foods and exercising. It's tough...and I struggle some days but I'm so dedicated that there is no stopping me right now. I'm starting to jog on the treadmill and even signed up for a 7k on St. Patrick's Day. I feel so good and am starting to finally see some results. It's tough to bust your butt and not see any differences. But slowly I'm getting there. Final weigh in is May 8th so 10 more weeks. Can't wait!!!
In other news...while there are no plans to do another IVF cycle since money doesn't grow on trees...we do have to make a decision with 1 remaining donor sperm vial. It's currently being stored for free until mid March but then it's $50 a quarter. So of course...we don't want to just throw it away but not sure what to do with it. We had done plenty of IUIs with the doctor but unfortunately my health coverage changed with my employer. I had great insurance coverage (minus IVF coverage) before that paid for all of my IUI appointments including the monitoring. Well now...it's an account based one so there's a little money in a "free" account and once that's gone...I have to pay out of pocket till I reach the 4k out of pocket maximum. So we don't know what to do. We've considered ICI since it's an ICI sample but Spice is panicked about that. I've tried reading up on it and it seems complicated. I joked with Spice that maybe it's as simple as we get it thawed and I put my legs up on the back of the couch and shoot it in. We are by no means thinking this would truly result in a pregnancy but I'd rather do that than throw it away. Since it's just 1 vial...we also don't want to buy a bunch of stuff to do it since it really is just one vial. In a fantasy world...this would work. The simplest try works! I figure losing weight may change my bodies dynamic so who knows....
If anyone is still reading...have you done simple, at home insems? Any advice? Even if it's graffic...I have no clue if Spice and I could manage it ourselves.
Outside of that...I still read blogs weekly and love hearing the good news so while I'm mostly silent...this community still means the world to me!! Until next time...lots of baby luck and hope everyone gets what they want in 2012!! Take care!!
