First time ever doing a happy dance for my period!!! Welcome to town Flo!!! So nice to see you!!! LOL!!! I was getting worried there for a bit since I'm usually between 31 and 35 days and today was day 35 but there she was at 8:58am. I let Spice know and what a surprise - she got hers too!!! I said well aren't you being supportive! Ha! So I made my appointment for bloodwork on Friday morning so they can do the Overian Assessment Reporting (OAR) for my age. Dr "recommended" it since it's an out of pocket expense and insurance doesn't cover it so I said at this rate...what's $145 compared to 12k. Has anyone else done it? I'm guessing it's more recommended for TTC couples who are older?? I don't know much about it but I'm going for it. I'm a little nervous to see if I rank low, medium or high for my age (just turned 38 last week). After that appointment - then I start the BCPs...must say that still cracks me up. I've never even been on them before so this is the first time. The nurse said I will be on those for 17 days until Oct. 16th with stims starting on the 21st.
I can't wait for my RN consultation on the 10th so we can learn more about what shots and how much I will be on...I'm so overwhelmed on how that will work so we can't wait. I need to do my shopping around for any discounted places for the medications/shots since i will be paying out of pocket for it all. It's just insane how much those cost. Goodness! I've written down a few places that I've seen on blogs so it will be interesting to see how much it turns out to be...OUCH I'm sure! I already asked the Dr office if they ever provide free samples or anything discounted but NOPE...they "only write the prescriptions"...they don't have any at the office apparantly. Hmmm. We are paying for all this with a loan from my 401k but it would be nice to not have to use what I budgeted for and just put the money back towards the loan. It's going to be tough but I'm willing to eat ramen and rice until I'm pregnant if it helps! LOL!
Here's to a wonderful day and great start in our new journey - c'mon Hail Mary!!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Waiting...
Well it's Friday and Miss "Flo" should be packing her bags and hopefully making her way to our house! Based on bloodwork that's necessary day 2 or 3...she can make a few stops and arrive on Sunday or heck Monday even but not much longer than that! Tick tock!!
I've been trying to get this hopeful nesting body ready for a little one...it's a struggle! I'm an eater who came from a family of eaters! My younger sister and Mom are fantastic cooks and over the years I've started getting pretty good at making new things too! But with being an eater and not a natural athlete...I also am considered "obese"...ish I can't believe I "said" it. I was so afraid the Dr would wire my jaw shut prior to IVF since being high risk is not a great catefory to be in. But with a huge sigh of relief she said my weight was not a huge concern for her...ahhh exhale! But she said that it couldn't hurt if I started eating proportioned, healthier meals and exercised. So instead of casually walking around the neighborhood, I've been doing the treadmill, weights and even my dear old friend Jillian has been assisting. The problem...I get bored easily so I feel like I need to change it up every week and add or do something new. The Dr. said I need to treat exercise like it's a job and workout 6 days a week...does she realize there are only 7 days a week? LOL! So, I'm not passing with flying colors but i definitely am doing much better. Has anyone else had a Dr request losing weight?
Well this girl had a long week...nap time before the misses gets home from work...then Grey's Anatomy premiere on the DVR. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!!
I've been trying to get this hopeful nesting body ready for a little one...it's a struggle! I'm an eater who came from a family of eaters! My younger sister and Mom are fantastic cooks and over the years I've started getting pretty good at making new things too! But with being an eater and not a natural athlete...I also am considered "obese"...ish I can't believe I "said" it. I was so afraid the Dr would wire my jaw shut prior to IVF since being high risk is not a great catefory to be in. But with a huge sigh of relief she said my weight was not a huge concern for her...ahhh exhale! But she said that it couldn't hurt if I started eating proportioned, healthier meals and exercised. So instead of casually walking around the neighborhood, I've been doing the treadmill, weights and even my dear old friend Jillian has been assisting. The problem...I get bored easily so I feel like I need to change it up every week and add or do something new. The Dr. said I need to treat exercise like it's a job and workout 6 days a week...does she realize there are only 7 days a week? LOL! So, I'm not passing with flying colors but i definitely am doing much better. Has anyone else had a Dr request losing weight?
Well this girl had a long week...nap time before the misses gets home from work...then Grey's Anatomy premiere on the DVR. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Not a nice roller coaster....
Finally found my trusty notebook last night thanks to Spice! My heart was in a panic because I thought it was at work - NOPE! Then thought it was in a storage tub of misc papers - NOPE! Tore up the house a bit...but finally the misses found it! Big hugs for her!! This is my TTC notebook with information, websites, donor information of likes/don't likes, my timelines - EVERYTHING!!!! Hence the panic!! But all good now! I updated the TTC Roller Coaster tab on my blog with the heartache history so far. I have to admit that with every BFN I wrote...I typed a little harder on the keyboard. I also had to refresh my memory about my innocence in the early stages (pre-blogs) of TTC. Let me just say to anyone 35+ starting this process...beware of the normal clinics that do unmonitored IUIs. I hung on for "cheap" hope far longer than I should have...10 BFNs before I finally referred my own self to a true infertility specialist. Almost embarrasing for me to read..sheesh! So again - all of you ladies...true blessing to have found your blogs! For the new TTC - be sure to read and ask as many questions as you can in the early stages. I was a believer that IVF wasn't my path - but now that I'm here I wish I would have done this a year ago. But...I believe that some things happen for a reason so I won't dwell too much on the past but focus on what's happening now - so it's a new beginning for us. A new TTC path with a 3 letter name - IVF.
p.s. - Isa if you read this - I have no idea how to comment back to you besides just leaving another comment - still new to this blogging business. Thank you for your comment and as far as my location I would prefer to stay generic at this point but unfortunately not in Chicago!
p.s.s - for the blogger peeps - how the heck do I reply to someone's comment? I tried using the "help" functions on here but let me say...annoying! I'm not the brightest bulb when it comes to technology! Is Wordpress really easier? I read up on that one too...sounds even crazier to switch! None of my friends blog so I'm at a loss for local help!
Enjoy your "hump day"!
p.s. - Isa if you read this - I have no idea how to comment back to you besides just leaving another comment - still new to this blogging business. Thank you for your comment and as far as my location I would prefer to stay generic at this point but unfortunately not in Chicago!
p.s.s - for the blogger peeps - how the heck do I reply to someone's comment? I tried using the "help" functions on here but let me say...annoying! I'm not the brightest bulb when it comes to technology! Is Wordpress really easier? I read up on that one too...sounds even crazier to switch! None of my friends blog so I'm at a loss for local help!
Enjoy your "hump day"!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
IVF costs what??
Let me start by saying...a child of our own seems like it would be a priceless decision, that any amount of money spent that ends up in a beautiful, healthy baby would be so worth it. Well if I won the lottery tomorrow...it would make decisions so much simpler but unfortunately we are a simple, middle class working couple. So...when the Dr told us this was the next step for us...our jaws hit the ground. I started to understand why the procedure overall being that price made sense with the retrievel, monitoring, transfer etc but then the meds too? YIKES~~how could we ever afford this? Then it got more crazy when the Dr talked to me about the Attain program which basically gives you a 3 fresh/3 frozen chance with a money back guarantee but at a price tag of 24k and then each fresh try was 3k...ish! So after taking the summer off and our heads spinning trying to figure out how this will work...we decided that we need to not send ourselves to the poor house and had to be realistic. So...here we are...
We are choosing to do one month for a fresh try and if we are lucky enough to have frozen babies as a backup...then YEAH!!!! But I feel refreshed, recharged and feel like the fresh IVF is all we will need. I met with the Dr last week on Wednesday to talk about the process. Spice couldn't make it to the appointment..bummer! I felt like I had a great understanding of what was going to take place because of all the reading I do on the blogs. It was funny because the Dr even said...so you seem to have a great understanding of IVF...and I said...I've been a stalker on so many blogs for over a year now...these women are my strength and support even though they don't even know it yet! Having said that...doesn't mean I didn't panic when she handed me a bunch of papers to read and had me schedule appointments and gave me a generic idea of the timing...ahhh! It's amazing how long the summer felt while we were deciding...time DID NOT fly by but now...whoa! My period is hopefully making an appearance next weekend and I start birth control pills [insert chuckle]. Then we have our RN consult on Oct 10th and that's when the big check needs to be written (thank you 401k) and the tentative start date for stims is Oct 21st. Crazy!!! It's a month away...but I can't lie...a little panic but so much excitement too! We are really doing this....
We are choosing to do one month for a fresh try and if we are lucky enough to have frozen babies as a backup...then YEAH!!!! But I feel refreshed, recharged and feel like the fresh IVF is all we will need. I met with the Dr last week on Wednesday to talk about the process. Spice couldn't make it to the appointment..bummer! I felt like I had a great understanding of what was going to take place because of all the reading I do on the blogs. It was funny because the Dr even said...so you seem to have a great understanding of IVF...and I said...I've been a stalker on so many blogs for over a year now...these women are my strength and support even though they don't even know it yet! Having said that...doesn't mean I didn't panic when she handed me a bunch of papers to read and had me schedule appointments and gave me a generic idea of the timing...ahhh! It's amazing how long the summer felt while we were deciding...time DID NOT fly by but now...whoa! My period is hopefully making an appearance next weekend and I start birth control pills [insert chuckle]. Then we have our RN consult on Oct 10th and that's when the big check needs to be written (thank you 401k) and the tentative start date for stims is Oct 21st. Crazy!!! It's a month away...but I can't lie...a little panic but so much excitement too! We are really doing this....
Saturday, September 17, 2011
What's Up Doc?
Where to start?? Who are we? What have we done? Why am I here?
I have a notebook of our TTC "path" so far but it's at the office so I'm going to list the full history on the separate tab on my blog. But for now...a little about us. Let's call us Sugar (me) and Spice...a couple of Midwest girls who have been together just about 9 years who decided to become a party of three (or 5 with our 2 poochies) back in December 2009. I will be the blogger and the carrier and have been a blog stalker for over a year. After many failed IUI attempts I started reading blogs because I was looking for support since we do not have any friends that are going through what we are. I had so many thoughts, questions and just plain old frustrations with not getting pregnant. Spice is a great support and I love her so much for being there when I would get the results and get one more bloodwork call that starts with "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...." but this is so new for both us that I began reading blogs to find some strength in continuing to try and find others that had the same heartaches. We never thought we would be where we are today...IVF. We thought...maybe it will take 4-6 tries. Hmmm but instead it was 13 rounds of IUI some unmedicated, unmonitored...some monitored with Clomid that ended up with "I'm so sorrry..." I've been told the BW, U/S, follicle number, estrogen...all normal. So I get the wonderful prognosis of "unexplained infertility" with "explained bitchiness"...kidding. Of course I added the last prognosis myself. Ha!
So back in May 2011 was the last IUI that we tried. I met with my Dr after the "I'm so sorry.." and she said that next up for me is IVF. [insert panic] I thought IVF was for people who didn't ovulate naturally, that had bad levels of follicles and crazy estrogen levels...NOPE. Boy was I wrong! So I took a bunch of information from the Dr and discussed the consult with Spice and we decided...let's take the Summer off and then decide. It sure was a long summer...but there was no added stress of Clomid, peeing on sticks, U/S appts but I sure did not lose the thoughts of what the heck should we do?? Do we look at all of these unsuccessful attempts as "it wasn't meant to be"? Would we be ok with no more trying? Is loving our nieces and nephews enough to replace having one of our own? ahhhhhhh! So I again turned to blogs...women with so much strength to keep going...I needed to hear the ups and downs of going to the next level of IVF. And there is a lot of success but there is still so much heartache. I wonder which group we would end up in. Is that kind of roulette at 12k a spin crazy to consider?? So I read. Blogs have become my blood line and my heart goes out to everyone for sharing their stories and putting their hearts on their sleeves.
I have a notebook of our TTC "path" so far but it's at the office so I'm going to list the full history on the separate tab on my blog. But for now...a little about us. Let's call us Sugar (me) and Spice...a couple of Midwest girls who have been together just about 9 years who decided to become a party of three (or 5 with our 2 poochies) back in December 2009. I will be the blogger and the carrier and have been a blog stalker for over a year. After many failed IUI attempts I started reading blogs because I was looking for support since we do not have any friends that are going through what we are. I had so many thoughts, questions and just plain old frustrations with not getting pregnant. Spice is a great support and I love her so much for being there when I would get the results and get one more bloodwork call that starts with "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...." but this is so new for both us that I began reading blogs to find some strength in continuing to try and find others that had the same heartaches. We never thought we would be where we are today...IVF. We thought...maybe it will take 4-6 tries. Hmmm but instead it was 13 rounds of IUI some unmedicated, unmonitored...some monitored with Clomid that ended up with "I'm so sorrry..." I've been told the BW, U/S, follicle number, estrogen...all normal. So I get the wonderful prognosis of "unexplained infertility" with "explained bitchiness"...kidding. Of course I added the last prognosis myself. Ha!
So back in May 2011 was the last IUI that we tried. I met with my Dr after the "I'm so sorry.." and she said that next up for me is IVF. [insert panic] I thought IVF was for people who didn't ovulate naturally, that had bad levels of follicles and crazy estrogen levels...NOPE. Boy was I wrong! So I took a bunch of information from the Dr and discussed the consult with Spice and we decided...let's take the Summer off and then decide. It sure was a long summer...but there was no added stress of Clomid, peeing on sticks, U/S appts but I sure did not lose the thoughts of what the heck should we do?? Do we look at all of these unsuccessful attempts as "it wasn't meant to be"? Would we be ok with no more trying? Is loving our nieces and nephews enough to replace having one of our own? ahhhhhhh! So I again turned to blogs...women with so much strength to keep going...I needed to hear the ups and downs of going to the next level of IVF. And there is a lot of success but there is still so much heartache. I wonder which group we would end up in. Is that kind of roulette at 12k a spin crazy to consider?? So I read. Blogs have become my blood line and my heart goes out to everyone for sharing their stories and putting their hearts on their sleeves.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Why not?
I've been a stalker on blogs for over a year now...never comment - just read through everyone's TTC journey blogs. It's been over a year for me and my girlfriend on our TTC crazy train and I find a lot of comfort in reading blogs for extra strength and support. So I figured "why not" give this blogging a try. My first blog entry is a short one...want to make sure this works before my masterpiece is lost...haha! So for now...I say "thank you" to all of the women who have created excellent blogs and opened their hearts to whoever is reading...it means more than you will ever know!
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