Hello blogland! I can't believe it's been just over 2 months since my last post. To be honest...I didn't think I would ever post again but I just felt like putting my mood on "paper". I just re-read my last post and most of the "pain" comes rushing back but most days I'm holding my head high. I have a few weak days...but I'm human. It happens. Our plan was not to be empty handed...we still pray for some miracles but for now - we move forward. We have moments - typically around my nieces (7 months/21 months) - when Spice and I look at each other and we know what the other is thinking..."sure wish we had one of those little angels of our own". But it wasn't meant to be at this time, if ever, so we smother those girls with our love and find other things to keep us busy.
My current busy project is exercising and changing my eating habits. I come from a family of eaters. We love to cook and try new things and love to eat!. We are a hearty bunch! It all started early January at work...monthly cake day for birthdays. Quite funny really...all scarfing down cake and started talking about resolutions and how most of us wanted to lose weight. So we started a Biggest Loser competition with a $50 entrance fee...11 joined so we are looking at a $500 first prize and $50 second place. How awesome would it be to not only lose weight but then win $500...SHOPPING!!!! So far 7 weeks in...down 13.5 lbs. Pretty excited!! I expected more than that because I'm considered "obese" at 31 BMI but I'm losing weight the right way which is eating smaller meals with healthier foods and exercising. It's tough...and I struggle some days but I'm so dedicated that there is no stopping me right now. I'm starting to jog on the treadmill and even signed up for a 7k on St. Patrick's Day. I feel so good and am starting to finally see some results. It's tough to bust your butt and not see any differences. But slowly I'm getting there. Final weigh in is May 8th so 10 more weeks. Can't wait!!!
In other news...while there are no plans to do another IVF cycle since money doesn't grow on trees...we do have to make a decision with 1 remaining donor sperm vial. It's currently being stored for free until mid March but then it's $50 a quarter. So of course...we don't want to just throw it away but not sure what to do with it. We had done plenty of IUIs with the doctor but unfortunately my health coverage changed with my employer. I had great insurance coverage (minus IVF coverage) before that paid for all of my IUI appointments including the monitoring. Well now...it's an account based one so there's a little money in a "free" account and once that's gone...I have to pay out of pocket till I reach the 4k out of pocket maximum. So we don't know what to do. We've considered ICI since it's an ICI sample but Spice is panicked about that. I've tried reading up on it and it seems complicated. I joked with Spice that maybe it's as simple as we get it thawed and I put my legs up on the back of the couch and shoot it in. We are by no means thinking this would truly result in a pregnancy but I'd rather do that than throw it away. Since it's just 1 vial...we also don't want to buy a bunch of stuff to do it since it really is just one vial. In a fantasy world...this would work. The simplest try works! I figure losing weight may change my bodies dynamic so who knows....
If anyone is still reading...have you done simple, at home insems? Any advice? Even if it's graffic...I have no clue if Spice and I could manage it ourselves.
Outside of that...I still read blogs weekly and love hearing the good news so while I'm mostly silent...this community still means the world to me!! Until next time...lots of baby luck and hope everyone gets what they want in 2012!! Take care!!
Hi! I'm glad things have been going well for you guys--and i'm totally impressed by the biggest loser stuff! For the ICI--just go for it! It's pretty much exactly how you described it--you can get cheap OPKs online to track your cycle if you don't have any and then just give it a go. Hope to see you checking in again soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm still reading, too. I say win that biggest loser $500 and pay for the IUI. My insurance didn't cover anything and if I recall the IUI was about $300.
ReplyDeleteGood to see things are going well. I never tried an at home insem but I've heard storied where it works..so why not give it a try.
ReplyDeleteIs your last vial "washed" or "unwashed"?
ReplyDeleteAwesome on that weight loss!
Hi there! Thanks for reading! It's been awhile since I've looked at my own blog...a little trip down memory lane! The vial that we have is unwashed (ICI) and is still being stored. I'm actually thinking of posting an update soon because I think we are going to figure out a plan of attack for the last vial. We are scared to do one at home but if it's just as simple as a needle-less shot in the privates...why not! haha! I'm looking into the wash price and the IUI cost since insurance covered it all before...I don't have a clue. Take care and keep on dancing!! Loved it!
DeleteOk. We have been trying at home with unwashed, inter-vaginal insemination (IVI). I'm assuming that's the same as what you mean when you say ICI? Anyway, I can see why you might totally try to have it washed and do IUI. But if not, and you try at home, I recommend checking out the New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth by Stephanie Brill. We have found that in trying at home, it is easiest to get a speculum and have one of you take a look with a flashlight (the other can use a mirror). The cervix being open like an O is unmistakable, as is the clear, slippery, stretchy cervical mucus flowing out of the O. The O moves higher closer to peak signs of fertility. After peak fertility, it closes back up, the cervical mucus gets cloudy, and is no longer clear, slippery, stretchy. And/or you might just dry up. If more than one vial, try 18 hours apart. Brill recommends not relying on positive OPK in denial of peak fertile signs. Possibly trying when a faint positive. We just try with peak fertility based on the cervix and cervical mucus. Our first one happened to be before the faint positive on the OPK. Our second try, 18 hours later, and there was a faint positive. I have found that Brill gives great advice for trying at home. Also, you will need a 1 cc needless syringe. We could not find these at a drugstore.......or even from an ER. We ordered them online at http://maiamidwifery.com/. They took a few weeks to deliver. (We had a disaster with our first try at home, as we had a 3 cc syringe that wouldn't fit in the vial.) Other than knowing a few facts about timing, the actual trying at home is pretty easy.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the lengthy response. Just don't want you to be nervous if you do ever end up trying at home any time in the future. Best of luck with any route you go. I'll keep checking in.
Now this is what I've been hoping for...someone to just throw out all the details...thank you! I am nervous about at home if that's what we decide and I'm not sure if Spice (my girl) will be able to do a speculum...do we have to do that or can we just go all the way in? I've read other people say they use the "instead" cap/cup thing...have you done that before? I have a doc appt on the 20th to discuss the best options with this one lonely vial. If money is on our side next year...we may try again but it may have to be all at home so I appreciate all of your comments! Best of luck to you both!!!!
DeleteYou don't have to use a speculum; it has nothing to do with the actual insemination, only planning the timing of it. The speculum is just to check out your cervix, how it is looking, is it open, is your cervical mucus clear, slippery, stretchy and flowing out of it like a river. Or is your cervix closed completely (can't see any opening), closed like a slit, and is the CM cloudy..........Yeah, the speculum is only for the timing. If you have other ways of timing, speculum is just a choice. But you can buy a small plastic one; it doesn't hurt at all. It's kind of cool to see the cervix be open and ready. It is a really great indicator of peak fertility. Brill talks about how after people try using it, the wished they had tried earlier, because they can just take a look and see that they are ready.
ReplyDeleteThe actual at home insemination only involves just sucking up that sperm in your syringe and inserting and using the syringe. The one of us trying has just remained slightly elevated on a pillow for an hour or more, and has tried to take the day easy, laying watching TV, take a nap, sleep through the night.....We have not used a cap or cup or anything like that, so I'm no help there. We never feel like anything has "fallen" out, as we have stayed laying for quite a while. Brill gives great advice about fertility signs and timing, using frozen sperm at home, thawing if it is transported to your home in a tank.
If only we all had a free donor....people are so possessive of their DNA!
Again - so many details and I am so thankful for you sharing! I tried telling the misses about it and she put up her hand and said "let me stop you right there"...ha! She said she doesn't need to know "all that" but I said it's important stuff to make sure we give it a fair chance but she got squirmy about it. I've been very successful with the Ovu sticks so I will use those for sure and a maybe on the speculum. I will need to find that book this week before my appt on Monday to ask more questions with my doc. Free donor would be AWESOME!! Let me know if you find them growing on trees...
DeleteOh and P.S....I bought Brandi Carlile's new CD last Friday and boy did I get a chuckle that the first song was the tune ya'll danced to. I didn't know the song so thought it was funny because I sat there for a minute and thought...I've heard this song somewhere before...ha ha! Love it!
Thinking of you both and sending positive thoughts as you go to your appointment. Let me know how it goes, or give us a blog about it.
ReplyDelete