Since You've Been Gone....

I'm not sure about everyone else but it sure is hard to start writing when it's been so long since the last post.  Holy smokes!  So much time has passed and I should have a zillion things to say...but will stick to the basics for now I suppose.  Spice and I had 1 vial left in storage so we decided to just try the at home insemination method.  It was a real shit show since we were nervous and rushing since the timing worked out during a lunch hour.  True definition of wham, bam, thank you ma'am!  The donor vial was an "ICI" type so it was unwashed and was already in a syringe so we took off the needle and attached a catheter that the doctor provided to us during one of my last appointments with her.  The catheter was used to just get in further and closer to my cervix without going in of course.  We didn't use a speculum since that freaks the misses out so our timing was based solely on OPKs and CM.  TWW was nice and slow of course but in the end....it was another BFN (Try #14).  While we were disappointed...it wasn't as hard as all of the other tries.  So much time had passed since we were fully in TTC that maybe our hopes weren't high enough that it would actually work.  It would have been AWESOME if the simplest try worked...but oh well I guess. 

We have so many friends that are now in the baby making business and one of them recently already had a baby...they got pregnant on their 2nd try.  Weren't they lucky??!!  Jealous you may ask? Of course we were...I cry everytime one of our friends say they are pregnant but then I get over it.  It's my own little moment and then I'm fine and so, so happy for them.  Lesbians have to stick together and cheer each other on because it's not easy and we need as much baby dust (and luck) and support as we can get.  Even though I feel like an old timer on TTC I am trying to learn from their successes.  Both were at home insems, one with frozen vials and the other with a known donor.  One charts BBT and the other used the speculum and monitored the cervix.  So for the first time in all these years of trying...I have started charting.  Why not?  There's even an app for it.  My first period and ovulation wasn't clean cut and definitely didn't come out like I've seen in examples so I'm a little discouraged.  I had more CM than usual this month and received 3 days of positive OPKs and no major spike in my temperature.  So I may chart another month or so before doing another at home insem.  We purchased 4 vials already and doing that felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders.  I was so tired of feeling worn down because we didn't have a baby and I knew we needed to try a few more times before I'm all dried up.  I turn 40 this year.  Heck, Halley Berry can do it...I should be able to as well.  HAHA!!

I've enjoyed reading blogs over the years and I can't stop no matter how indifferent they sometimes make me feel.  I've been so overjoyed at all the successes (after my mini breakdown) and love reading all of the fun and sweet things each of your families have shared. Here's to a great Summer!!