Silly side track to start this post from the usual TTC talk...Tristan Prettyman is AMAZING. If you haven't heard her music...check it out! Not to mention...ADORABLE!
Here we are now on day 3 after our 2nd at home insem but our actual 16th try overall. We had bought 4 vials in May and I have been charting my temp for 3 months. This temp charting business is a little inconclusive and leaves a lot open to interpretation but I figured "why not"! It's interesting to see the temp fluctuate but mine is NOT cookie cutter clean that shows a for sure I've ovulated but generally I think I can tell when it happens but only AFTER. By then it's too late some say on some websites and other sites say it's ok to insem after ovulation so who really knows. Every body is different so I'm going with monitoring the CM and still using the OPKs. On Tuesday I had a decent amount of CM and a very close positive on the OPK for a LH surge so we inseminated that night (8:30pm) with the frozen vial I picked up in a tank on the previous Friday. We were going to insem 12 hours later with the 2nd vial but based on work schedules - we actually waited 28 hours in between. I know that's quite a big difference but the CM was still present throughout Wednesday and there was an official positive LH surge. We will see how this try goes. Little Miss Flo if she decides to arrive - will be on Spice's bday OR better yet - if she doesn't arrive...that would be an awesome bday present for her! Fingers crossed!!
In regards to the actual insem...it was a similar shit show to the one we did last time except we didn't have a cathetar. We used a 5ml syringe and had some moments of panic with trying to get every last drop out of the little vial. For those that haven't done an at home...it doesn't come in a syringe at least for where I order from. It comes in a tiny little vial that's about 2 inches (at most) tall with a screw top. So if you get a too large of syringe - you won't be able to get the tip in the vial to get the goods out. We did mostly ok but there was just a little bit left so we didn't want to waste so we did some magic to get the rest out. It was quite comical! I'm going to order some from Maiamidwifery.com (Thanks Kari!) for next time...well IF there's a next time (wink!). We then set up a little arrangement for me on the floor so I could rest my feet on this couch/pillow arrangement. I know there's some ladies out there that make this a romantic deal...but Spice and I are far too silly for that and it took everything in me to keep me from laughing as she stood there with a flashlight and one of my legs on her shoulder....ass over tea kettle people...humerous!! Once we got the goods in place - I laid there propped up for an hour while she watched some TV and I listened to it since I was facing away from the TV. Candy Crush anyone? damn game!?! Night two was much smoother but still had some giggles. I'm now trying to keep my head busy but of course that's hard to do! I'm working on landscaping and finally doing some flowers and shrubs outside so this project is getting 200% of my attention to keep it off other things.!
In sad news - one of our lesbian friends suffered a miscarriage this week. It's heartwrenching and hard to hear her go through this. She wasn't far along but there's a connection easily made after all the hardwork, wishing and prayers (and money!) we put into being moms. I've been there so I'm trying to support as much as possible but we all heal differently. Prayers for our friend J.
Till next time....
Friday, July 5, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Since You've Been Gone....
I'm not sure about everyone else but it sure is hard to start writing when it's been so long since the last post. Holy smokes! So much time has passed and I should have a zillion things to say...but will stick to the basics for now I suppose. Spice and I had 1 vial left in storage so we decided to just try the at home insemination method. It was a real shit show since we were nervous and rushing since the timing worked out during a lunch hour. True definition of wham, bam, thank you ma'am! The donor vial was an "ICI" type so it was unwashed and was already in a syringe so we took off the needle and attached a catheter that the doctor provided to us during one of my last appointments with her. The catheter was used to just get in further and closer to my cervix without going in of course. We didn't use a speculum since that freaks the misses out so our timing was based solely on OPKs and CM. TWW was nice and slow of course but in the end....it was another BFN (Try #14). While we were disappointed...it wasn't as hard as all of the other tries. So much time had passed since we were fully in TTC that maybe our hopes weren't high enough that it would actually work. It would have been AWESOME if the simplest try worked...but oh well I guess.
We have so many friends that are now in the baby making business and one of them recently already had a baby...they got pregnant on their 2nd try. Weren't they lucky??!! Jealous you may ask? Of course we were...I cry everytime one of our friends say they are pregnant but then I get over it. It's my own little moment and then I'm fine and so, so happy for them. Lesbians have to stick together and cheer each other on because it's not easy and we need as much baby dust (and luck) and support as we can get. Even though I feel like an old timer on TTC I am trying to learn from their successes. Both were at home insems, one with frozen vials and the other with a known donor. One charts BBT and the other used the speculum and monitored the cervix. So for the first time in all these years of trying...I have started charting. Why not? There's even an app for it. My first period and ovulation wasn't clean cut and definitely didn't come out like I've seen in examples so I'm a little discouraged. I had more CM than usual this month and received 3 days of positive OPKs and no major spike in my temperature. So I may chart another month or so before doing another at home insem. We purchased 4 vials already and doing that felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was so tired of feeling worn down because we didn't have a baby and I knew we needed to try a few more times before I'm all dried up. I turn 40 this year. Heck, Halley Berry can do it...I should be able to as well. HAHA!!
I've enjoyed reading blogs over the years and I can't stop no matter how indifferent they sometimes make me feel. I've been so overjoyed at all the successes (after my mini breakdown) and love reading all of the fun and sweet things each of your families have shared. Here's to a great Summer!!
We have so many friends that are now in the baby making business and one of them recently already had a baby...they got pregnant on their 2nd try. Weren't they lucky??!! Jealous you may ask? Of course we were...I cry everytime one of our friends say they are pregnant but then I get over it. It's my own little moment and then I'm fine and so, so happy for them. Lesbians have to stick together and cheer each other on because it's not easy and we need as much baby dust (and luck) and support as we can get. Even though I feel like an old timer on TTC I am trying to learn from their successes. Both were at home insems, one with frozen vials and the other with a known donor. One charts BBT and the other used the speculum and monitored the cervix. So for the first time in all these years of trying...I have started charting. Why not? There's even an app for it. My first period and ovulation wasn't clean cut and definitely didn't come out like I've seen in examples so I'm a little discouraged. I had more CM than usual this month and received 3 days of positive OPKs and no major spike in my temperature. So I may chart another month or so before doing another at home insem. We purchased 4 vials already and doing that felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was so tired of feeling worn down because we didn't have a baby and I knew we needed to try a few more times before I'm all dried up. I turn 40 this year. Heck, Halley Berry can do it...I should be able to as well. HAHA!!
I've enjoyed reading blogs over the years and I can't stop no matter how indifferent they sometimes make me feel. I've been so overjoyed at all the successes (after my mini breakdown) and love reading all of the fun and sweet things each of your families have shared. Here's to a great Summer!!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
What's New Pussycat?
This year is just flying by - can't believe we are in September already! It's less than 2 months from our failed IVF cycle - WOW! Outside of the 'no baby blues' - it's been an ok Summer. We haven't done anything exciting but just enjoyed the great weather, family, friends and time together. My nieces are growing like little weeds. M is now 28 months and A is 13 months. While I love my little girls so so much little A holds a special place in my heart because the timing of my sister getting pregnant with her was when we were actively trying. I was so heartbroken when she told us (Xmas 2010) from so many unsuccessful tries and then my sister announces she's pregnant...I could have killed her! (not literally) I had so much jealousy and pain but it passes of course with time because I'm not a horrible person and of course I don't wish infertility on anyone who wishes for a baby but it's a green monster of jealousy nonetheless. I enjoy my time with those girls and truly miss them every day I'm not around them. I take lots of photos and videos and will watch them often. I look at A and how much she's grown and all things she's doing and it warms my heart but also sometimes makes me shed a tear that why couldn't we have been blessed with a cutie this same age. I had the D&C in December and if that try would have "stuck", we would have had a baby in late July. I had some quiet days that week but I didn't allow myself to suffer. There's some silly reason it didn't work and I have to find peace with that but it's hard to do when I still don't have a baby. Well - I'm jumping off my soapbox now...
My last update was in March and I mentioned that I was focusing on a weighloss challenge at work...well folks... I WON!!! It was so awesome to win of course but the best part was the weightloss which was 37 pounds (18%). The last few weeks were brutal and I knew I couldn't keep up the "diet" of no carbs and wayyyyyyyyyyy too many vegetables but there was this gal that was in the lead the whole time and to be quite honest...quite a BI-OTCH so of course I had to beat her!! And I did by 1/2 pound. She was such a sore loser and didn't talk to me for 4 or so days after it ended. We sit 3 cubicles away from each other so it was so uncomfortable but I held my head high because it showed her true colors. She's no longer here anymore so I'm thankful for that. It was never the same after that! Anywho - I've gained a little of the weight back - about 7 lbs - but I'm struggling because I assume I have planters fasciitis since I was walking/running 5+ days a week during the competition. I went from being a walker on the treadmill or outside with nice weather to actually running. I ran my first 7k on St. Patrick's Day with a 54 minute time. I was so excited! And now...my darn heal/foot is so sore when I do exercise, wear the wrong shoes, rest for too long...blah! I need to go in and have it actually diagnosed but I'm a google person (aren't we all with the TTC journey??) so have tried doing some of those remedies. It surprises me how much I actually miss the running...never in a million years would I have thought I would say something like that. But I need to get back on track with eating more healthy dinners and doing some exercise so I can lose about another 15 lbs to get me to my goal.
Also in my last post I mentioned that we had 1 donor vial (not washed-ICI) still in storage at our andrology lab place. We have decided to use the last one as an at home try - do the "turkey baster" route. We haven't tried this route yet so this will most likely be a shot in the dark but we can't keep paying $50 every 3 months for one single vial. But obviously there is a lower % chance it can work and has worked with many of you folks out here but we need to be realistic to avoid a tailspin to insanity if it doesn't work. We will be praying to anyone that listens that's for sure!!! I talked to my doctor and she agrees it's worth a shot and helped explain what to do and gave us the catheter and syringe to use. I'm kind of confused why we need all that stuff because I thought the vial was already in a needleless syringe so I may have to call her and discuss some more. I feel like I left her office knowing exactly what to do and then got home and explained it all to Spice and then she asked a bunch of questions and now I'm confused!!! I've been googling lots and reaching out to blog friends as well for the nitty-gritty details. I am currently on day two of my period so we are trying to decide if we are going to do the insemination this month or wait till next. We also are not telling anyone in "real life" but of course I had to tell someone - so why not blogland!
If you are still reading - please send some baby thoughts our way! Stay tuned!!
My last update was in March and I mentioned that I was focusing on a weighloss challenge at work...well folks... I WON!!! It was so awesome to win of course but the best part was the weightloss which was 37 pounds (18%). The last few weeks were brutal and I knew I couldn't keep up the "diet" of no carbs and wayyyyyyyyyyy too many vegetables but there was this gal that was in the lead the whole time and to be quite honest...quite a BI-OTCH so of course I had to beat her!! And I did by 1/2 pound. She was such a sore loser and didn't talk to me for 4 or so days after it ended. We sit 3 cubicles away from each other so it was so uncomfortable but I held my head high because it showed her true colors. She's no longer here anymore so I'm thankful for that. It was never the same after that! Anywho - I've gained a little of the weight back - about 7 lbs - but I'm struggling because I assume I have planters fasciitis since I was walking/running 5+ days a week during the competition. I went from being a walker on the treadmill or outside with nice weather to actually running. I ran my first 7k on St. Patrick's Day with a 54 minute time. I was so excited! And now...my darn heal/foot is so sore when I do exercise, wear the wrong shoes, rest for too long...blah! I need to go in and have it actually diagnosed but I'm a google person (aren't we all with the TTC journey??) so have tried doing some of those remedies. It surprises me how much I actually miss the running...never in a million years would I have thought I would say something like that. But I need to get back on track with eating more healthy dinners and doing some exercise so I can lose about another 15 lbs to get me to my goal.
Also in my last post I mentioned that we had 1 donor vial (not washed-ICI) still in storage at our andrology lab place. We have decided to use the last one as an at home try - do the "turkey baster" route. We haven't tried this route yet so this will most likely be a shot in the dark but we can't keep paying $50 every 3 months for one single vial. But obviously there is a lower % chance it can work and has worked with many of you folks out here but we need to be realistic to avoid a tailspin to insanity if it doesn't work. We will be praying to anyone that listens that's for sure!!! I talked to my doctor and she agrees it's worth a shot and helped explain what to do and gave us the catheter and syringe to use. I'm kind of confused why we need all that stuff because I thought the vial was already in a needleless syringe so I may have to call her and discuss some more. I feel like I left her office knowing exactly what to do and then got home and explained it all to Spice and then she asked a bunch of questions and now I'm confused!!! I've been googling lots and reaching out to blog friends as well for the nitty-gritty details. I am currently on day two of my period so we are trying to decide if we are going to do the insemination this month or wait till next. We also are not telling anyone in "real life" but of course I had to tell someone - so why not blogland!
If you are still reading - please send some baby thoughts our way! Stay tuned!!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Keep me hanging on..........
Hello blogland! I can't believe it's been just over 2 months since my last post. To be honest...I didn't think I would ever post again but I just felt like putting my mood on "paper". I just re-read my last post and most of the "pain" comes rushing back but most days I'm holding my head high. I have a few weak days...but I'm human. It happens. Our plan was not to be empty handed...we still pray for some miracles but for now - we move forward. We have moments - typically around my nieces (7 months/21 months) - when Spice and I look at each other and we know what the other is thinking..."sure wish we had one of those little angels of our own". But it wasn't meant to be at this time, if ever, so we smother those girls with our love and find other things to keep us busy.
My current busy project is exercising and changing my eating habits. I come from a family of eaters. We love to cook and try new things and love to eat!. We are a hearty bunch! It all started early January at work...monthly cake day for birthdays. Quite funny really...all scarfing down cake and started talking about resolutions and how most of us wanted to lose weight. So we started a Biggest Loser competition with a $50 entrance fee...11 joined so we are looking at a $500 first prize and $50 second place. How awesome would it be to not only lose weight but then win $500...SHOPPING!!!! So far 7 weeks in...down 13.5 lbs. Pretty excited!! I expected more than that because I'm considered "obese" at 31 BMI but I'm losing weight the right way which is eating smaller meals with healthier foods and exercising. It's tough...and I struggle some days but I'm so dedicated that there is no stopping me right now. I'm starting to jog on the treadmill and even signed up for a 7k on St. Patrick's Day. I feel so good and am starting to finally see some results. It's tough to bust your butt and not see any differences. But slowly I'm getting there. Final weigh in is May 8th so 10 more weeks. Can't wait!!!
In other news...while there are no plans to do another IVF cycle since money doesn't grow on trees...we do have to make a decision with 1 remaining donor sperm vial. It's currently being stored for free until mid March but then it's $50 a quarter. So of course...we don't want to just throw it away but not sure what to do with it. We had done plenty of IUIs with the doctor but unfortunately my health coverage changed with my employer. I had great insurance coverage (minus IVF coverage) before that paid for all of my IUI appointments including the monitoring. Well now...it's an account based one so there's a little money in a "free" account and once that's gone...I have to pay out of pocket till I reach the 4k out of pocket maximum. So we don't know what to do. We've considered ICI since it's an ICI sample but Spice is panicked about that. I've tried reading up on it and it seems complicated. I joked with Spice that maybe it's as simple as we get it thawed and I put my legs up on the back of the couch and shoot it in. We are by no means thinking this would truly result in a pregnancy but I'd rather do that than throw it away. Since it's just 1 vial...we also don't want to buy a bunch of stuff to do it since it really is just one vial. In a fantasy world...this would work. The simplest try works! I figure losing weight may change my bodies dynamic so who knows....
If anyone is still reading...have you done simple, at home insems? Any advice? Even if it's graffic...I have no clue if Spice and I could manage it ourselves.
Outside of that...I still read blogs weekly and love hearing the good news so while I'm mostly silent...this community still means the world to me!! Until next time...lots of baby luck and hope everyone gets what they want in 2012!! Take care!!
My current busy project is exercising and changing my eating habits. I come from a family of eaters. We love to cook and try new things and love to eat!. We are a hearty bunch! It all started early January at work...monthly cake day for birthdays. Quite funny really...all scarfing down cake and started talking about resolutions and how most of us wanted to lose weight. So we started a Biggest Loser competition with a $50 entrance fee...11 joined so we are looking at a $500 first prize and $50 second place. How awesome would it be to not only lose weight but then win $500...SHOPPING!!!! So far 7 weeks in...down 13.5 lbs. Pretty excited!! I expected more than that because I'm considered "obese" at 31 BMI but I'm losing weight the right way which is eating smaller meals with healthier foods and exercising. It's tough...and I struggle some days but I'm so dedicated that there is no stopping me right now. I'm starting to jog on the treadmill and even signed up for a 7k on St. Patrick's Day. I feel so good and am starting to finally see some results. It's tough to bust your butt and not see any differences. But slowly I'm getting there. Final weigh in is May 8th so 10 more weeks. Can't wait!!!
In other news...while there are no plans to do another IVF cycle since money doesn't grow on trees...we do have to make a decision with 1 remaining donor sperm vial. It's currently being stored for free until mid March but then it's $50 a quarter. So of course...we don't want to just throw it away but not sure what to do with it. We had done plenty of IUIs with the doctor but unfortunately my health coverage changed with my employer. I had great insurance coverage (minus IVF coverage) before that paid for all of my IUI appointments including the monitoring. Well now...it's an account based one so there's a little money in a "free" account and once that's gone...I have to pay out of pocket till I reach the 4k out of pocket maximum. So we don't know what to do. We've considered ICI since it's an ICI sample but Spice is panicked about that. I've tried reading up on it and it seems complicated. I joked with Spice that maybe it's as simple as we get it thawed and I put my legs up on the back of the couch and shoot it in. We are by no means thinking this would truly result in a pregnancy but I'd rather do that than throw it away. Since it's just 1 vial...we also don't want to buy a bunch of stuff to do it since it really is just one vial. In a fantasy world...this would work. The simplest try works! I figure losing weight may change my bodies dynamic so who knows....
If anyone is still reading...have you done simple, at home insems? Any advice? Even if it's graffic...I have no clue if Spice and I could manage it ourselves.
Outside of that...I still read blogs weekly and love hearing the good news so while I'm mostly silent...this community still means the world to me!! Until next time...lots of baby luck and hope everyone gets what they want in 2012!! Take care!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Still healing
I've started this post so many times and couldn't find the right words to say. I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post and getting near a month since my D&C on the 10th. Life has not been favorable for Spice and I the last 6 weeks. We've been knocked down from the small little pedestal that we enjoyed being on for barely a week. We didn't get the chance to even "really" be excited for more than a few days. After our low beta start of 14 - I wasn't optimistic till I thought - geez, I should be happy to finally get a BFP - first time after 13 BFNs. Spice was being the cheerleader for us both because I was tired. And then the more tests we took - the "tired" turned into sadness and anger and resentment and lonely and frustrated and humiliated and, and, and I could go on forever. After our 233 beta test on 11/23 we got 570 on 11/30. Then the real disheartening thing happened when the Dr made me come in and do an U/S because she was concerned it could be a tubal pregnancy. I panicked, Spice panicked - it was horrible. I was so negative about everything and hated life because I thought for sure it would be an ectopic pregnancy and something was going to go wrong - middle of the night bleeding, emergency room surgery, loss of a tube, or death. I know the last one is rare but it's written on the stupid websites so of course - I panicked about EVERYTHING that could happen because why would we all of sudden have something good happen!!! But during the U/S the Dr saw a little something in my uterus so she was less worried. Another two blood tests: 12/1= 622 and 12/6=624 so barely climbing but still not going down so a miscarriage was on it's way but they had no idea when. Options were to wait (could take weeks, months), take medication to cause cervix to open and miscarry (OBGYN said it could be quite painful and may still need D&C later or more meds) or D&C. I went with a D&C. I figured I couldn't start "healing" till this embryo was gone. It never even moved to the title of fetus - so unbelievably sad.
My regular doctor did the D&C and I went under for the procedure. There was an option to stay partially awake and alert enough to talk to the doctors - UH NO WAY!!! I didn't want to hear any part of what they were going to have to do. It went ok and I didn't have much pain afterwards that advil didn't fix. I spotted for 2 weeks after which was a nice daily reminder of what I just went through. I had my follow up appointment on 12/22 and got the "not pregnant" result they were hoping for. Merry Christmas! I know, I know - this happened for a reason. As the doctor said - something was wrong. Chromosomes were missing maybe and the embryo didn't develop as it should. In the perfect world and given the choice - of course we would like a child with two arms, two legs and a wonderful, functional mind, body and soul - but why couldn't we have been given the perfect baby after all of our trying and heartache? Why couldn't some greater force realize that this was our last chance? That we have no more money for IVF. That now we are not going to have a baby in our life. That we will not be a family of 3 because this was our last chance. Why? That's what I want to know (rhetorically speaking because there is no good answer that I'm satisfied with). There are many things that I don't understand but find serenity in knowing there is a reason for everything but how can someone justify to me why I won't be a mother. Spice definitely wanted to be a mother also but it was a different level of want. My want is intensified beyond every dream I've ever had as a child, adolescent and an adult. There will remain a piece of me that will remain empty. Commercials, movies, people passing by me, blogs I read, my own nieces and so many other things I see and hear make me sad. Some days are ok and I only cry inside and some days - I just can't function. Why is this "plan" for me? It's simply not fair!!! I know many of you have been here and have gotten your wish so it does happen. Maybe things will change in the future but money certainly doesn't grow on trees and I definitely am not getting any younger. I just turned 38 and it would be years before we could pull together some money but then - my body may say it's too late. It hurts and it sucks to put it simply.
So now what - this has been a short lived blog hasn't it. I obsessively read everyone's blogs every day which is almost on the verge of a sickness especially with me being so sad all the time. But I can't stop. I want to celebrate with the women who have been through this and have success stories to tell. I feel it's my duty. I just wish mine would have ended with a success.
My regular doctor did the D&C and I went under for the procedure. There was an option to stay partially awake and alert enough to talk to the doctors - UH NO WAY!!! I didn't want to hear any part of what they were going to have to do. It went ok and I didn't have much pain afterwards that advil didn't fix. I spotted for 2 weeks after which was a nice daily reminder of what I just went through. I had my follow up appointment on 12/22 and got the "not pregnant" result they were hoping for. Merry Christmas! I know, I know - this happened for a reason. As the doctor said - something was wrong. Chromosomes were missing maybe and the embryo didn't develop as it should. In the perfect world and given the choice - of course we would like a child with two arms, two legs and a wonderful, functional mind, body and soul - but why couldn't we have been given the perfect baby after all of our trying and heartache? Why couldn't some greater force realize that this was our last chance? That we have no more money for IVF. That now we are not going to have a baby in our life. That we will not be a family of 3 because this was our last chance. Why? That's what I want to know (rhetorically speaking because there is no good answer that I'm satisfied with). There are many things that I don't understand but find serenity in knowing there is a reason for everything but how can someone justify to me why I won't be a mother. Spice definitely wanted to be a mother also but it was a different level of want. My want is intensified beyond every dream I've ever had as a child, adolescent and an adult. There will remain a piece of me that will remain empty. Commercials, movies, people passing by me, blogs I read, my own nieces and so many other things I see and hear make me sad. Some days are ok and I only cry inside and some days - I just can't function. Why is this "plan" for me? It's simply not fair!!! I know many of you have been here and have gotten your wish so it does happen. Maybe things will change in the future but money certainly doesn't grow on trees and I definitely am not getting any younger. I just turned 38 and it would be years before we could pull together some money but then - my body may say it's too late. It hurts and it sucks to put it simply.
So now what - this has been a short lived blog hasn't it. I obsessively read everyone's blogs every day which is almost on the verge of a sickness especially with me being so sad all the time. But I can't stop. I want to celebrate with the women who have been through this and have success stories to tell. I feel it's my duty. I just wish mine would have ended with a success.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Heartbroken
So I'm writing this with a shake in my body and tears in my eyes. The HCG only went to 233 from 28 in a week. The doc said it should be in the 1000s by now. I said but I started off so low - should it really be that high in a week and she said that at a bare minimum it should be at 240 so she is considering it a non-viable pregrancy and a miscarriage will be coming. She can't say when. I go back in a week and she said it could go up a little more or just stay flat and it will then start going down. I can't believe this is it. It's over. THis was our absolute last chance and it's done.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Spotty, spotter-ton
Ok folks - lets start with my POAS extravaganza. I know it's only 3 but the first two - I didn't keep. DUH! They were so, so light that even my own human eye could barely see it but I knew it was there! So, looks good right?? (just figured out my days are wrong - first one is right, then it should be 14DP5DT and 16DP5DT - silly girl)
These little sticks are keeping me sane! Because let me tell you - I spot some serious TMI stuff down there. I cry, I get angry, I'm happy, I'm sad...up, down, up, down. Grrrr!!! [insert TMI...you are warned] It started last Saturday (7DP5DT) and was the light pink, brownish type. I'm still on endometrin suppositories so I've been wearing a little liner for weeks now so it's nothing those little bad boys can't handle. Nothing excessive. That was for a day and half. Then I got the low beta of 14 last Monday. So at this point...I'm thinking this is over! Then I doubled on Wednesday...YEAH! No more spotting until Friday. This time it was different - it was more red and really just looked like the start of my period. [panic] So I worked a half day on Friday and went home and peed on that darn stick. It was the 13DP5DT and it was much darker and prettier than the other. So my spirits lifted a little but I was really concerned because everything I've read says red is NOT good. So I vegged all afternoon and night Friday and then POAS on Saturday (says 15 but should be 14) since the spotting started changing colors. Gross I know - I told my mom it was like a choc milk shake and she about threw up! LOL! So sorry...TMI!! Sunday was good but still some light, light spotting of the light brown nature. And then this morning - no spotting overnight but some during the day. POAS above that says 17 is actually 16 from this morning and it was the prettiest of them all. Sigh! Why am I spotting so much? Did ya'll have that? I know others have had spotting but is it constant like this? Again - it's not loads of it but enough for me to notice and to think of putting stock in panty liners. Ha!
As far as any other symptoms - nothing really. Which is a little concerning for us worry-warts. My ta-ta's are sore but nothing crazy like you all have suggested and I had a good headache/migraine Saturday night but that's about it. I only have 2 more nights before the hopeful third [and final] AWESOME beta. I only have one more stick so I'm going to hold off till Wed morning before the appointment.
Hope everyone has some free time this holiday week to be with family! Talk to you Wednesday!!!
These little sticks are keeping me sane! Because let me tell you - I spot some serious TMI stuff down there. I cry, I get angry, I'm happy, I'm sad...up, down, up, down. Grrrr!!! [insert TMI...you are warned] It started last Saturday (7DP5DT) and was the light pink, brownish type. I'm still on endometrin suppositories so I've been wearing a little liner for weeks now so it's nothing those little bad boys can't handle. Nothing excessive. That was for a day and half. Then I got the low beta of 14 last Monday. So at this point...I'm thinking this is over! Then I doubled on Wednesday...YEAH! No more spotting until Friday. This time it was different - it was more red and really just looked like the start of my period. [panic] So I worked a half day on Friday and went home and peed on that darn stick. It was the 13DP5DT and it was much darker and prettier than the other. So my spirits lifted a little but I was really concerned because everything I've read says red is NOT good. So I vegged all afternoon and night Friday and then POAS on Saturday (says 15 but should be 14) since the spotting started changing colors. Gross I know - I told my mom it was like a choc milk shake and she about threw up! LOL! So sorry...TMI!! Sunday was good but still some light, light spotting of the light brown nature. And then this morning - no spotting overnight but some during the day. POAS above that says 17 is actually 16 from this morning and it was the prettiest of them all. Sigh! Why am I spotting so much? Did ya'll have that? I know others have had spotting but is it constant like this? Again - it's not loads of it but enough for me to notice and to think of putting stock in panty liners. Ha!
As far as any other symptoms - nothing really. Which is a little concerning for us worry-warts. My ta-ta's are sore but nothing crazy like you all have suggested and I had a good headache/migraine Saturday night but that's about it. I only have 2 more nights before the hopeful third [and final] AWESOME beta. I only have one more stick so I'm going to hold off till Wed morning before the appointment.
Hope everyone has some free time this holiday week to be with family! Talk to you Wednesday!!!
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