Tick Tock...

Here I am...Sunday night, full day of football (kicked butt in Fantasy Football), awesome turkey dinner and trying to not climb the walls with excitement.  Tomorrow is the official retrieval day...we report for duty at 6:30am.  Yowsers but must say...glad it's early or else I would be pacing waiting for a later appointment.  My sweet Spice will be able to be there with me me...we were worried that she might be called in for a very important 3rd portion of an interview that she could not miss on my retrieval day.  Phew!  I had a good friend on standby since my Mom does not drive on the highways [lame-o] and only felt comfortable with a small few to be there for me for something so special but one less thing to worry about.  This will be my first time being in a "hospital type" role of being the patient and being put under and IVs and such.  Pretty nervous but hopefully all for nothing!  My Saturday visit was filled with more good news of good lining, good number of follies and everything looked "good".  I was hoping for "great". I hate to say this but I was completely bummed as I heard the U/S tech read my follie sizes to the nurse.  She had a few large follies coming in at 20, 22, 23 that the nurse didn't even record because i'm sure by Monday morning they would be "gone".  But there are 8 over 15 with a few as big as 18/19.  The nurse said not to worrry about it because there were still a bunch of others right behind with 10 or so "small" ones on each side.  We will see!  Only takes one right???  I should be greatful with anything over 2.  I think I just got my hopes up for a football team when I started with the over achiever talks from the Doc but I am completely greatful that at this point OHSS is not going to be an issue.  But Spice has prepared the cupboards with a ton of Smart Water, Gatorade, and a bunch of protein.  So I will be a good little patient and stock up just in case. 

I love Halloween so what a great way to spend my day...getting us one step closer to our touchdown!  Pretty stoked!!  I will update tomorrow with my stats.  Night!! 

Day 7 on meds - 2nd U/S

As Spice was giving me my shot this morning I was thinking geez I've only been on meds for only 7 days...I would have guessed at least 2 weeks.  Time has been going so slow...well that was until I went to the center this morning for my 2nd U/S and B/W and they said it's looking like Mon or Tues next week for the retrievel.  WHAT? WHEN? WAIT...am I ready??  I had it in my head that it would be late next week Thurs or Fri but I think that was wishful thinking.  I was thinking wouldn't that be slick if the retrievel was Friday and then POOF here's the weekend so I wouldn't have to use much vacation in case I needed more than 24 hours to rest.  So when I asked for an estimate today she said...maybe Mon or Tues.  OMG!!!!  So of course now I feel like things are rushed but I'm sure this weekend will drag...crazy little roller coaster!  The follies were developing nicely she said and the nurse was quite excited that I'm sitting with 11 follies over 11mm with 2 of them leading the posse at 14.5.  There are still a whole bunch on each side but they don't measure unless it's 11 or higher.  She did say my right ovary was playing a little peak-a-boo with her so I had to turn on my side and she put some pressure on my tummy.  With all of that earlier talk of way too many follicles for my age, PCOS and OHSS...I hope this is a sign that we are being well taken care of with 11 front runners and this will be a complete success.  All in all...what a great day!! 

So as soon as I get home from work tonight I need to start the ganirelix shots and then switch it back to early mornings with the Menopur until the Ovidrel which could be Sunday.  SUNDAY people!!!!  WOW!  My estrogen level was 750 so she said it's good as long as it continues to get higher which it is so YEAH!!  I go back in on Saturday morning bright and early at 7:30am and Sunday.  It's amazing how I pop up nice and early when I have these early appts for baby making but for regular work days...slow mover in the AM.  Ha!  I walked out of the appointment with a big smile and feel really excited.  I texted Spice right away and she let her job know that she will need the time off but won't know till Sunday for sure.  They were cool about it...so glad we both have managers that are so understanding of these last minute appointments.

In other news...I made an appointment for acupuncture that was suppose to be on Tuesday afternoon but looks like I am going to have to reschedule that.  [yeah] I have not done this before but in reading most TTC blogs...it's received a very positive response.  I was back and forth about it but then decided to call around and talk to a few places and see what vibe I recieved from them.  This one gal was very calm and made me feel comfortable discussing my situation and my reasonings for going.  She specializes in infertility so she explained her process and recommended a few visits - in particular the day of transfer.  I was thinking it was going to be too late for me to start and I wouldn't get the right energy flowing but she said it's definitely not too late.  She was reasonabley priced so I'm hoping I can reschedule my first visit to get ready before my transfer day.  I think it will be good for me to relax..I'm kind of high strung but more internally...most people would have no clue because I'm pretty easy going on the outside.  Spice would have a different response to that but she sees me in the best of times and the worst...that's what real love is about, right?!  LOL!!  So many new experiences...I just hope to end this all with parenthood as our next roller coaster ride!!

Take care!

First huddle...

I had my first "huddle" today..aka ultrasound and BW after starting stims (Menopur/Follistim) last Friday.  She said my lining was good at 7 1/2 (I don't really know what that means?? need to google that) and then she started measuring my follies.  They don't measure anything under 11 so I had a total of 5 at that size with 3 on my right and 2 on my left.  While she said it was normal and great...I of course had to come into the office and back track on some of my IVFers out there and see what sizes they had.  She also counted about 10-12 small ones still on each side as well that she said could continue to grow and be in the running for ER.  I go back in on Thurs morning for another check.  I had blood taken but they will call later if I need to change up my meds at all but for now...she said "stick" (pun intended) with what I am doing so far.

So about the shots since I haven't posted since we began ...we started Friday morning with Menopur and Spice was able to do that one for me bright and early!  We are doing 6am for Menopur and 6pm for Follistim.  The first one wasn't too bad but it did burn and left a small mark.  Then that night I was running solo since she was working and that wasn't as smooth.  I was so nervous...I started sweating and breathing faster.  It took me a zillion "1,2,3 go" cheers in my head before I finally did it (after about 10 mins of trying) and then I forgot to release my chub squeeze so blood dribbled out afterwards.  And then I thought...did I just lose all of my meds?  LOL!  It wasn't much blood so I knew I was being a freak but c'mon ladies...like you wouldn't of thought the same thing!  :)  That shot also was the only one that bruised up for now.  I did a few more myself over the weekend and while it got a little easier...the sweats were still there and they took between 5-10 mins to actually stick myself.  So Spice has been a peach in doing them for me and waking up at 6am when she didn't get to bed from work till midnight or so.  We've got our eye on the ball and this shot business is what we need to make our dream come true so all smiles!!  As far as side affects...nothing yet.  Sometimes feel a ping here and there around the ovaries but it could be gas (LOL) from all the veggies I've been trying to eat.  Spice thinks I've been more cheesey and lovey so she teases me about that but hey...little sweetness can't be bad!!!  Better than the devil!!!

So that's what I've been up to lately!!  I wanted to put a public prayer out here for fellow bloggers, Hope and Wren, that their precious babies stay put and keep growing healthy!  Every positive vibe I can scrounge up is being sent your way!!

Ready, Set, Go....

Well it's a GO for tomorrow morning that is...we are officially starting our shots tomorrow after today's baseline and B/W.  I went first thing this morning and got there a little early (20 mins) so I was expecting to hang around the lobby for a bit but NOPE...no chance for panic to set in...they called me back within a few minutes of sitting down.  Barely got the seat warmed up..LOL!  "clothes off waist down and we will be right in"...it went so fast...I don't remember what she said for my lining but she counted 19 small on the right and 18 small on the left.  Wow!  Being a panic kind of gal...I thought for a split second when she had to put a little pressure on my belly that she was gonna say..."I'm sorry - you are all dried up" but bless the heavens, I have a bunch.  So she said I was all set to start meds tomorrow and I come back on Tuesday morning.  A part of me turned from being nervous to excited!  I can't wait for Tuesday to see how the meds take over my little follies..so excited!  I'm even a bit excited to start this shots business because I've put so much fear and anxiety into it...it's awesome to finally be here.  Ask me again after a week of taking them...I may have another adjective for my feelings. [kidding]  I'm thinking I may have to buy myself some shots celebration pants.  The couple of work pants that I wear weekly are not exactly roomy so if my business is going to be bloating...I may need some extra room for expansion.  Any excuse to buy a few things...teee heee.

So in other news - I watched a special that was on "My Style" network called "Sperm Donor - 74 kids and more on the way".  While I felt it was great to see a show on something that is so near and dear to our family and potential family...it left me being kind of upset.  We ended up choosing a donor that was anonymous but that was soley because of personality, physical characteristics and medical background all pointed to a donor that did not have the ID options at 18 for offspring.  If we had found a donor that was ID options at 18...we would have had no problem either.  But the problem with the show for me was that they called it "fathering" 74 children and his friend talked about him being a Dad...while I don't know if that was their intention...it bugged me the further the show went.  A single mother used his sperm for both of her children and she opted to meet him when her kids were like 8 and under.  My opinion is that is way too early to do something like that, if ever.  Then she started saying that hopefully he will be in some way a part of their lives...WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.  It was suppose to be anonymous and it felt like she was backtracking and it drove me crazy.  Maybe I'm overreacting but I didn't care for the single mothers portion of the show.  I did however really enjoy the siblings connecting and think it's good that the options are there with the DSR but in all honesty...I hope our child (when we are blessed) has enough love and support and doesn't feel left out and feel that extra need to bond with others who are genetically matched to them in some way.  If it happens down the road for us...then so be it but we will smother our child with love hoping that our family is enough.  Is that selfish of me?  It's a tough subject and I plan on doing A LOT of reading books, articles, blogs to help me with that. 

Well that was a rant...either way...wasn't sure if anyone else saw that show and what they thought.  And don't worry...if you don't agree with me...I can take it!  :)  I tried putting the link below.

http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/b7656_74_kids_more_on_way_style_presents.html

Got Meds?

Excited and anxious all at the same time...picked up my meds today!!  Spice and I had our RN consult last Monday to discuss calendars, medications, shots, suppositories, lions, tigers and bears...OH MY!!  It was a great consultation with my favorite RN at the Dr's office.  She had patience with all of my questions and helped lighten the mood even.  Since the saline sono and trial transfer appointment - I knew the meds were going to be lower doses but not nearly as low as she described.  We were so excited to hear that the cost of the meds was going to be maybe half of what we budgeted for.  I'm looking at this news as a good sign that we won't have to empty the wallet (at least yet) on medications.  We took a huge sigh of relief and the aforementioned fabulous RN also had a bag of goodies for us.  She had all kinds of boxes of those little "white bullets" (my nickname for them..LOL) that are not pleasant since they are coochie suppositories but if it helps make a better home for a baby...bring it on!  She also had 300 IU of Follistim and then a Follistim pen.  I will only need to take 75 at a time for the Follistim so I only had to order 1 additional box.  I had originally asked the Dr if they had any samples and she said no...so now I know who runs the show...Ha!  So besides the freebies above I had to order:

Follistim - 1 300 IU cartridge at $248
Ganirelix - 4 shots at $410
Menopur (saline/powder mixer) - 10 vials at $690
Ovidrel - 2 shots at $190
Tetracycline - 16 caps at $1.80 (covered by insurance)
Valium - 1 pill at $1.15 (covered by insurance)
 Total expense for IVF meds so far: $1541

Vivelle DOT patches may be needed after the transfer so a possible extra $146
Additional "white bullets" may be necessary depending on my levels so that would be an extra $288

While the RN was talking about all of these meds, I was rapidly taking notes while Spice paid close attention.  She will be the primary giver of the shots.  Although, Day 1...she will give me the first shot of Menopur at 6am and then I have to do the next shot of Follistim at 6pm (12 hours apart) all by myself [insert panic].  I will have to put on my game face and just do it but I'm sure it will take a few wind ups before I stick the needle in.  My goodness! Ha!!  I can do this!  Before the shots officially start I do go in for a baseline U/S on Thursday morning.  Hopefully all looks good still since the BCPs ended yesterday.  Then...shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots everybody! (do you know the song? LOL) on Friday.  First US/BW appt on the 25th then 27th and then??? depends on what's happening up in there.  She talked a potential retrieval around Nov 4th.  WOW...time flew by! 

Well that was a bunch of "data"...congratulations to those that made it this far! I should of put a disclaimer at the beginning...

Need to plug in this puppy so I don't loose my post...plus I need to check my fantasy football scores...was not looking good when I started.  Take care everyone!

P.S. Spice and I were reading the side affects of one of the meds...what's up with the black, hairy tongue?  Uh no thanks!  As if me being hormonal wasn't bad enough for my dear Spice...she definitley doesn't want to get some of that!  LOL!  I think it was the tetracycline stuff...weird.

Homework

Ok - so I was thinking this morning of all the questions I want to be sure the RN answers for us today as we approach the meds/stims process.  I have quite a list but most are the general of when this and when that but then I got to a question about the donor sperm.  During our IUI tries...we ended up using 4 different donors and of course BFN on all of those.  We don't have any purchased ones leftover so we need to place a new order (sounds funny writing that)...so here's the homework question...should we avoid any of the donors that we used with all of the failed IUIs or is that just foolish since this is more than just a donor issue??  I would think we could still just as easily get pregs with any of the 4 that we used (well 3 since one of them is no longer participating) than with a brand new donor to us.  Our "faves" are limited to only a handful and if we choose outside of those initial 4 than we are only partially happy.  But in the end...most that "vain" type of stuff doesn't matter it's just nice to choose since we can't make a baby ourselves [lame]....it gives my Spice more of a helping hand per se.  I was out of town with my mom this past weekend which involved a few hours of driving so she gave her two cents - which was to choose brand new - not one of those 4.  My gut is saying that if I tried 4 different donors...it wasn't necessarily the donors fault here so we should just go ahead with one of our faves again if available.  What do you think?

p.s. when I say "fault" above...I don't mean to point fingers. I am working on not placing blame on anyone..the donor, the Dr, the Clomid, the weather, the timing, the OPKs and of course me.  It's a hard battle and I take it one day at a time.  As hard as it is sometimes...I truly believe things happen for a reason...not sure what that reason has been the last year and a half but maybe it has to do with a job change for Spice (fingers crossed) or something with the house or with family...mysterious ways...where's my crystal ball? ha!

Well that wasn't so bad...

Yikes - can't believe it's been almost a week since my saline sonogram and trial transfer.  Just like my blog title says...it really wasn't so bad!  I had my freak out moment just before going in and it wasn't much more than a PAP type appointment and an IUI.  Phew!!!  But with the good, there is a little "bad".  So the appointment went like this.  There was a U/S nurse (not sure of her real title??) and the Dr - this was the first "procedure" type appointment with the Dr so I wasn't sure if she was gentle or a brut so I figured this could be interesting.  The U/S nurse does the usual dildo cam and checks out my lefty and righty - both look great she says and then they talk a little jibberish and then the counts...19 on the one side and 23 on the other...YIKES!  One might be excited hearing that amount but I've read wayyyyyyyyyyy too many blogs to know this is concerning.  And before I can even say anything the Dr says...well there's some good and bad with those numbers.  Dr says she won't have to put me on high levels of meds and that means cheaper cost=GOOD!  But I am potentially a high risk patient for OHSS and then she started talking about PCOS=BAD!  Grrrrrr!!!  So Dr finishes the appointment by doing the saline part and trial transfer and they look at my future baby residence...all looks great!  And she said "great"...so again GOOD.  Besides the up and down...pretty uneventful in regards to pain and discomfort.  Although afterwards I was glad that I worked the rest of the day at home...the saline has to come out sometime right??  Ish Fish but again..not too bad!  So I spent the rest of the week googling OHSS and PCOS.  I understand the OHSS aspect but I don't understand out how I could have PCOS...I don't have any of the other symptons except a lot of follicles...but at this point...the Dr said that it could explain why I haven't seen a pregnancy so far...all of my follicles have been duking it out to win the Prom date with the little Studs being sent in to party.  LOL!  Ok - maybe the Dr didn't say it quite like that but that's how I explained it to Spice and my mom.  Ha!

So next up is our RN consultation tomorrow and I think that's when we get the med (nervous about where to buy them from) information and "The Calendar" that I've heard so much about.  I'm still plugging away on the BCPs and I must say...first time ever on them and I think it's turning me into a dingbat!  I did some of the clumsiest things today - knocking my head on a pole, moving a hot pan with my bare hand, tripping up the stairs, almost cutting off my thumb while cutting potatoes...just really bizarre events for me...well at least all in one day.  Spice is having some fun making fun of me.  I also backed off on caffeine - which really wasn't much more than a decent size cup of coffee each morning and an occasional diet soda...so I've been had headaches since Thursday...grrrr!  But my sights are on the TOUCHDOWN so I will make my sacrifices!

Here goes another week....

Quickie...

Just a quick post so I can "say" out loud that I'm a little nervous.  I have my saline sonogram and trial transfer in less than an hour and I'm a bit nervous.  Nervous if it will hurt, nervous of the results...just nervous.  They said it's similar to IUI and the HSG test and that I can just go back to work...ummm no.  So I'm going to at least work from home afterwards.  Thank goodness my peers and boss are awesome about my time away from the office and the ability to work from home.  Phew!  But still nervous!  I also had my OAR blood test last Friday and that takes 10-14 days...yikes!  Wish that was a little sooner but what do you do...wait!  I've gotten really good at that in the last year and a half. 

Well - time to shut 'er down!  I will blog later on how it went!  Fingers crossed!!