Ok - so I was thinking this morning of all the questions I want to be sure the RN answers for us today as we approach the meds/stims process. I have quite a list but most are the general of when this and when that but then I got to a question about the donor sperm. During our IUI tries...we ended up using 4 different donors and of course BFN on all of those. We don't have any purchased ones leftover so we need to place a new order (sounds funny writing that)...so here's the homework question...should we avoid any of the donors that we used with all of the failed IUIs or is that just foolish since this is more than just a donor issue?? I would think we could still just as easily get pregs with any of the 4 that we used (well 3 since one of them is no longer participating) than with a brand new donor to us. Our "faves" are limited to only a handful and if we choose outside of those initial 4 than we are only partially happy. But in the end...most that "vain" type of stuff doesn't matter it's just nice to choose since we can't make a baby ourselves [lame]....it gives my Spice more of a helping hand per se. I was out of town with my mom this past weekend which involved a few hours of driving so she gave her two cents - which was to choose brand new - not one of those 4. My gut is saying that if I tried 4 different donors...it wasn't necessarily the donors fault here so we should just go ahead with one of our faves again if available. What do you think?
p.s. when I say "fault" above...I don't mean to point fingers. I am working on not placing blame on anyone..the donor, the Dr, the Clomid, the weather, the timing, the OPKs and of course me. It's a hard battle and I take it one day at a time. As hard as it is sometimes...I truly believe things happen for a reason...not sure what that reason has been the last year and a half but maybe it has to do with a job change for Spice (fingers crossed) or something with the house or with family...mysterious ways...where's my crystal ball? ha!
You are the one who has to feel comfortable with your decision so I think the most important thing is to follow whatever your gut is telling you. If it were up to me, I'd say go with your favorite, even if you have used him before and gotten BFNs. We had 12 BFNs with our same donor before IVF worked with him on the first attempt. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe main perk you are shelling out for with IVF is the ability to mitigate ALL fertility issues, both male and female, so take advantage of that! It's why straight women go to IVF when their husbands have poor sperm quality - IVF makes it a non-issue. If you're really nervous about it, you could ask for partial ICSI as an insurance policy against any donor fertility issues. That said, sperm bank donors generally don't have fertility issues. It's how they get to be donors. :-) The prior BFNs could have been the results of so many million different variables, and yes, a low post-thaw sperm count is somewhere on that list, but again, IVF makes that such a moot point that my vote is to use the donor you'd most like to conceive with since there is a really, really, really good chance that will be the outcome! So excited for you!
Things definitley happen for a reason. We had 5 failed IUI attempts and for our IVF cycle we had to select a brand new donor. We got a touchdown the first time, call it beginners luck I guess. In the end, it worked out for the best as the 2nd donor we picked was a much better fit than the first one we selected.
ReplyDeleteWe also had the ICSI procdure done as well. It was an extra $2000 but we had 32 eggs that were produced and of those 23 fertilized successfully and we ended up with 19 Grade A embryos. We transferred 2 blasts on Day 5 and had a total of 6 blasts left over to freeze. The other thing I would highly recommend is accupuncture immediately before the transfer and immediately after the procedure. It cost $200 and was worth every penny. If you go to our blog and read back in April 2011 we share about the transfer process and how it all worked out. I think it is so helpful to read other mommies stories to know what to expect. Wishing you all the best! :)
K- thank you so much for your comments. Those are the things that I hadn't really thought of...we think following our gut is the way to go.
ReplyDeleteFinch & Wren - TOUCHDOWN for you both with the extra conversion points indeed!! You mentioned accupuncture...did you also do it for the retrievel? I've never had that done before and from a cost perspective...I've thought of doing it on the transfer day only with maybe a trial before then so i know what to expect. I also heard you can itemize it on your taxes! Yeah! Thank you for the comments...puts a smile on my face!